Blog-A-Song 07

Play With Fire by The Rolling Stones

Sometimes I really hate the Rolling Stones. Sometimes I really love them. This is a song that I love.



Lyrics

Well you got your diamonds
and you got your pretty clothes
and the chauffeur drives your car
you let everybody know

Don't play with me cause you're playing with fire

Your mother, she's an heiress
she owns a block in St. John's wood
and you're father'd be there with her
if only he could

Don't play with me cause you're playing with fire

your old man took her diamonds
and tiaras by the score
now she gets her kicks in Stepney
not in Knight's Bridge anymore

Don't play with me cause you're playing with fire

Now you got some diamonds
and you will add some others
but you better watch your step girl
or start living with your mother

Don't play with me cause you're playing with fire
Don't play with me cause you're playing with fire

Top Ten Episodes of G.I. JOE: A Real American Hero - Number 04

"Hearts and Cannons"
Written by Alfered A. Pegal and Larry Houston

I think one of the strongest elements of the G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero concept is the distillation of cliches and stereotypes into well rounded characters. The characters are pastiches of America. Sometimes it's a little heavy handed, and a few times it's embarrassingly tacky, but most of the time the Joes are representative of the different types of people that make up America. And America has, if nothing else, lots of different types of people in it.

That brings us to Footloose. I was never a big fan of Footloose, I never had his toy, and he wasn't in many episodes. It's not hard to see why, most of the time he came off as a single joke character, and the joke is pretty thin. He was a pretty straightforward pastiche of hippies. He was kind of detached from reality in a zen sort of way and said "like" a lot, heck, even his helmet is covered with "leaves". The problem with Footloose was that he felt like he was being written by people who didn't actually know any hippies, but saw them on TV once. I don't know if the writers didn't know what to do with that type of character or if they just didn't want to go there in the first place, but Footloose didn't see a lot of action in the cartoon series. But when he did, he called everybody "man" and said "far out" a lot.

Hearts and Cannons is one of the better episodes that he stars in. In this episode, he is partnered with Dusty. Footloose is an existential free thinker and Dusty is just a rugged, good ol' country boy. They work really well together. Although they have opposing competitive styles, it never devolves into Odd Couple style arguing and bickering. They come across more as two guys from different lifestyles who have bonded to become friends.

At the beginning of the episode we find out that Cobra is attacking unnamed villages in an unnamed Middle Eastern country. They have kidnapped a scientist, Dr. Winters, and are forcing her to create a prototype plasma cannon tank. The Joes are flying over the area looking for the secret facility. After their plane is struck by lightning, they are forced to jettison the cargo and supplies, including the Mauler tank. But that wasn't enough to lighten the load, so Footloose and Dusty are forced to parachute out as well. After spending the night in the desert, they find Destro's secret weapons testing compound, sneak inside, rescue the scientist, and make their escape.

This is where the fun begins, because Dr. Winters happens to be a very pretty lady. So the entire time they are rescuing her, Footloose and Dusty are competing for her affection. It leads to some genuinely great comedy and action. After escaping the compound, our heroes get caught in a sand storm and are separated.

This episode makes great use of Footloose. There's a particular scene where Destro forces his troops to drive through a mine field in order to catch the Joes. The Cobra troops are naturally reluctant to do so and, after being forced at gun point, proceed with a humorously half hearted battle cry. They are promptly blown up and (presumably) killed off screen. Dusty comments how he feels sorry for them. Footloose replies that he has no sympathy because "they're just livin' out their karma." Interestingly, the scene is played pretty straight, and actually comes off pretty dark. One of the reasons Footloose fairs better in this episode than in others is that the writers actually give him more to say than the usual hippie "buzz" words, but still maintain the cultural feel. His response to the unrelenting sand storm is, "All Things Must Pass. Keep On Keepin' On." It's a nice reference.

Dusty found refuge in a stolen Cobra Hummer, but Footloose and Dr. Winters are trapped in the storm. Fortunately for them, they are found by a mysterious Arab man named Jabal who, at first, thinks they are Cobra soldiers. After realizing that Footloose is G.I. Joe, Jabal lets them go and helps them fight Cobra.

Now, this is where it gets a little embarrassing. Jabal is presented as a kind of Sinbad style, scimitar wielding, fantasy caricature. It wouldn't have been so bad if he didn't say things like "snake warrior" and "sky chariot" and such. But despite being a presented as an ignorant third world nomad, he's also a suave, romantic warrior poet and he totally sweeps Dr. Winters off her feet, much to Footloose and Dusty's chagrin.

In the end, Jabal found the Joe's Mauler so he and Footloose use it to fight Destro's prototype super tank. What follows is a pretty neat desert tank battle. Using teamwork and Dr. Winters' knowledge of the prototype, they are able to defeat Destro. As it turns out, Jabal is the rightful monarch of the land and with Cobra gone, takes control of the country and gives Dusty and Footloose medals. Then he takes Dr. Winters to his palace, leaving the two Joes to argue about whose chick she really was.

Footloose really shines in this episode. He's got a real Jeff Bridges style about him. He and Dusty really gel. The two characters have good chemistry and it's a shame they didn't have more appearances together outside of this episode.

Blog-A-Song 06

A Four Legged Friend - written by Roy Rogers




Lyrics:

A four legged friend, a four legged friend
he'll never let you down
he's honest and faithful right up to the end
that wonderful one, two, three, four legged friend

A woman's like cactus and cactus can hurt
'Cause she's just a tight waisted winky eyed flirt
She'll soon have your land and your pride and your gold
And bury you deep long before you grow old

Who carries your burden?
Who carries your load?
On tumbleweed land or a long dusty road?
Who asks you no questions?
Who tells you no lies?
That four legged friend with the two honest eyes

Top Ten Episodes of G.I. JOE: A Real American Hero - Number 05

"Memories of Mara"
Written by Sharman Di Vono

One of the tactics used by voice actors in creating voices for cartoon characters is doing impersonations of other actors. For example, Homer Simpson's legendary voice grew out of Dan Castellaneta's Walter Matthau impersonation. Such was the case with Neil Ross' voice work for one of the most popular G.I. Joe characters, Shipwreck.

Shipwreck's voice was heavily influenced by iconic actor, Jack Nicholson, and this vocal style really informed how the character was written as well. Shipwreck was played as a sarcastic, arrogant womanizer. The women he hit on found him insufferable yet attractive. He was a capable rogue who often played by his own set of rules. He butted heads with his superiors but always got results. This made him a very endearing character, after all, it was the 80's and we all wanted to be Han Solo.

So, it should come of no surprise that Shipwreck was used frequently throughout the cartoon. Memories of Mara is one of his most memorable episodes. The episode follows a standard formula. Duke, Lady Jaye, Gung Ho, and Shipwreck are aboard a Navy ship searching for a missing submarine. As it happens, a Cobra submarine is in the area and attacks the Navy ship. Before the battle begins, Shipwreck sees a drowning woman in the water and dives in to save her. The Joes try to keep Cobra busy while they save Shipwreck and the mysterious blue skinned woman.

After a couple of action scenes, the Joes scare off Cobra and get the drowning girl to safety, though it is not easy. The woman, named Mara, was a Cobra soldier who had been experimented on by Cobra scientists trying to create the perfect amphibious soldier. Unfortunately, the experiment was a failure, Mara has gills and can breathe water but she can't breathe air. She was trying to escape Cobra when Shipwreck rescued her. Naturally, most of the Joes don't trust her., though they promise to try and reverse her condition and pressure her to reveal the location of Cobra's secret undersea laboratory. Shipwreck sympathizes with her and thinks she's being treated unfairly.

Knowing that Cobra is aggressively looking to reclaim Mara, the Joes try to get her to a concealed island where she can be hidden while they study her. Shipwreck and Mara get separated from the rest of the Joe team and spend the day fighting Dreadknoks and having romantic swims in tropical bays.

One of the strength's of this episode is the focus on Mara's character. She reveals why she joined Cobra. It doesn't go into too much detail, but she clearly describes a rough childhood, probably in a violent third world country. She has little to no concept of honor or valor, and the only loyalty she understands is loyalty to herself. Through Shipwreck, she learns that people can be good, and really can do something for nothing in return.

After meeting up with the rest of the Joes, Mara reveals the location of the Cobra undersea laboratory where they are hiding the stolen submarine. They lead a mission to rescue the submarine crew and destroy the Cobra base.

With the Cobra lab destroyed, and all of the research with it, Mara realizes that she'll never go back to the way she was. Under romantic moonlight, she gives a tragic goodbye to Shipwreck and dives into the sea.

It's a touching episode. The drama is centered around two people from different worlds learning and growing during their brief period together. Thematically, it sticks to strong concepts like Heroism, Altruism, and Friendship, and stars one of the most likable characters to ever appear on the show.

Comics Review: Incredible Change-Bots

Back in 2007, I went to my first comic book convention, Wizard World Chicago. I spent most of my time in Artists Alley, looking at all the independent comics and artists that were selling their books. It was hard for me because, given the financial opportunity, I would have bought something from everybody there. I did walk out of there with a pile of comics. Some were good, some weren't, but they were all a product of love by their creators.

I clearly remember seeing a display for Jeffrey Brown's Incredible Change-Bots and it was probably the only table at the whole convention that I did not even approach. I remember thinking to myself, "Transformers are stupid. This is stupid. You're stupid!"

Well, it turns out that I'm stupid. I have since come to my senses and realized the true beauty of Jeffrey Brown's comics. Passing over meeting him and buying his comics has become one of my great regrets. I don't have anything to say in my defense. Maybe it was my inherent dislike of Michael Bay's Transformers movie (it had come out that year) or maybe it was my growing dislike of what appeared on the surface to be blatant nostalgia driven merchandise (I had become quite disenfranchised by the remodeled G.I. Joe, He-Man, Ninja Turtles, etc that had been all the rage that decade).

Although the Incredible Change-Bots is a nostalgia comic drawing on the original Transformers cartoon, it is so much more. For starters, it's funny. Jeffry Brown has great comedic timing. The book flows with the pace of a seasoned comic strip. A lot of the comedy is satirizing or parodying the Transformers cartoon. There are lots of nods to the show that any old fan would recognize, but that is not where the comedy ends. The true comedy comes from Brown's playful, conversational nature in which the characters communicate. He takes a lot of familiar tropes from action, superhero, and science fiction genres and turns them on their heads.

This is a cute book. It makes me laugh. Check it out.

Blog-A-Song 05

Hey Hey, My My - written by Neil Young

My loop station has been on the fritz, but I squeezed this song out of it. This might be my favorite song by Neil Young.



The lyrics as sung by me:

Hey hey, my my
Rock and Roll can never die
There's more to the picture
Than meets the eye
Hey hey, my my

You're out of the blue and into the black
You pay for this but they give you that
Once you're gone
You ain't never coming back
You're out of the blue and into the black

The king is gone but he's not forgotten
This is the story of Johnny Rotten
It's better to burn out
Rust never sleeps
The king is gone but he's not forgotten

Hey hey, my my
Rock and Roll can never die
It's better to burn out
Rust never sleeps

Top Ten Episodes of G.I. JOE: A Real American Hero - Number 06

"My Favorite Things"
Written by Doug Booth

I think it's safe to say that G.I. Joe comic writer extraordinaire Larry Hama can be credited with the lions share of creativity behind the franchise; and although the comic and the cartoon existed independently of each other, the cartoon often picked up Hama's ideas and took them in their own direction. Their only real concern was pushing the toys, not maintaining consistent continuity.

Most of the characters in the cartoon differed from their comic book counterparts and Serpentor was no exception, though he was not as far removed from his initial concept as some other characters. In the cartoon, he may have been a more megalomaniacal than he was in the comic, but the basic concept of being created from DNA of history's greatest despots and tyrants remains concurrent with the comic. The cartoon does take in a different directions, though.

The main premise of this episode is that Serpentor wants to obtain a bunch of historical artifacts that belonged to his DNA ancestors. For whatever reason, owning these weapons and statues makes him more powerful, albeit in an undefined way. This mission takes Cobra to the Netherlands in search of a battle axe owned by a Viking named Ulric the Batterer. Serendipitously, G.I. Joe and NATO are holding war games in the area. Despite that, Cobra invades a Dutch city and tries to steal the axe, named Skullsplitter, from a museum. G.I. Joe happens to be in the area and do their best to fight off the Cobra invasion. Serpentor manages to find the axe, but is stopped by Leatherneck. The two brawl for a while and the axe is chopped in two by a guillotine during the melee. Cobra escapes, but without the axe.

Back at Joe HQ, Leatherneck is the toast of the town, showing off his new souvenir and bragging about going toe to toe with Serpentor. Leatherneck's embittered rival, Wet Suit, becomes increasingly jealous. Here we get to see one of the strongest elements of the G.I. Joe cartoon.

One of the formulas that the Joe writers often used was the pairing up of two characters. Often times, one would not appear without the other. The first season got a lot of mileage out of Alpine and Bazooka. Alpine's talkative bossiness contrasted perfectly with Bazooka's monosyllabic stupidity. Likewise, we repeatedly saw the romantic playfulness of Flint and Lady Jaye, Shipwreck had a bird, etc. The buddy system is just easy to write for, and with G.I. Joe's bloated cast of characters, it simplified the process.

Wet Suit and Leatherneck are one of my favorite pairings. The two characters are fiercely proud of the military organizations from which they came, the Navy Seals and the Marines respectively. This was a great idea. You don't have to look very far to see examples of the rivalry between the different branches of the military, so it's very realistic and relatable. Both Wet Suit and Leatherneck are pinnacles of their namesakes and are constantly trying to out do one another in an effort to prove the superiority of their branch. It's handled very well, in that it's never personal, it's about the history of the military. In fact, both characters are incredibly similar. They are both brash, macho tough guys who don't take no guff from nobody.

This episode deals specifically with their rivalry and highlights both the merits and flaws of their characters.

The Joes try to catch Cobra at Vlad the Impaler's castle, where Serpentor tries to steal some ancient torture equipment. Feeling outdone by Leatherneck, Wet Suit jumps the gun and blows their cover when he attacks Serpentor head on. Wet Suit gets in over his head and Leatherneck is forced to jump into the fray to save Wet Suit. They manage to escape certain doom, but Leatherneck is poisoned by a dart tipped with the deadliest poison of all...Serpentor's blood. With Leatherneck on his deathbed, Wet Suit is overcome with guilt and decides he has to make things right by getting some more of Serpentor's blood with which an anti-venom can be made.

Wet Suit takes Lifeline, the current medical officer, to India. Apparently, one of Serpentor's DNA donors is Takshaka, King of the Nagas, from Indian mythology. Cobra prowl around in an ancient temple looking for Serpentor's ancient giant pet snake, much to Wet Suit's chagrin as he has an Indian Jonesesc hatred of snakes. It is revealed that the snake's venom is the same as Serpentor's blood. Lifeline finds a chalice of the venom and is pleased that they can abandon their ambush of Serpentor and use the snake venom instead.

But hot headed Wet Suit wastes the venom in an act of petty revenge against a damaged Cobra B.A.T. Wet Suit is unconcerned with losing the snake venom, as he'd rather go beat up Serpentor anyway. Lifeline reveals that the snake venom is the "pure form" of the poison and would be guaranteed to make an effective anti-venom, where as Serpentor's blood would be "clutching at straws." He insists that they have to get more venom from the giant snake, but Wet Suit refuses because of his fear of snakes.

At this point, we get to see the fourth star of this episode, Lifeline, deliver a very nice speech about honor and courage. You see, Lifeline is kind of a simple punchline character, in that he is a pacifist. In most of the episodes, this is highlighted in silly ways, such as never wanting to use violence on anybody for any reason, or refusing to use guns. In one episode, he is shown to be almost fearful of guns, refusing to even touch them. It's fairly one dimensional. But in this episode, it's handled really well. He chides Wet Suit on being a glory hog and a coward, and despite the fact that he is made fun of for not using weapons, he continually puts his life on the line in order to save lives. He then risks his life to get the venom by going after the snake alone.

Again, Wet Suit is overcome with guilt and realizes that he was being selfish. Together, the two Joes go after the snake. Wet Suit lets the giant snake bite him, being poisoned in the process, but soaking some of the venom into his shirt.

In the end, Lifeline is able to make an effective anti-venom and Wet Suit and Leatherneck are both seen healing in the medical bay, albeit in a shared room. They immediately fall into their ongoing rivalry,arguing and boasting about their accomplishments against Serpentor.

As Lifeline and General Hawk put it, "They are on the road to complete recovery...if they don't kill each other first."

As you can see from my description, a lot happens in this episode. It's very action heavy and very fast paced, but the action and pace are driven by the character drama. I think it's a perfect example of why the cartoon was so endearing to so many kids and remains so after they've grown up.